so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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