my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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