People in love make me want to vomit
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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