She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize