First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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