My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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