Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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