At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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