Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
