Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
