oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this will be a night to untag.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
