yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
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