There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
