Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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