I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
