she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
