dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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