the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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