Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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