I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize