Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
not ubering you a puppy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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