her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
