They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
