Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The best revenge is premature balding
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
