for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
