Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
