Someone shit on the floor
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize