You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
