hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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