So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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