Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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