you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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