okay pat passed out under dana's car
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
