New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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