There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
