How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
