Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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