Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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