no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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