White coat. Heels.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
