im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
