he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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