I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
