You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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