i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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