So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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