don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
