hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
