Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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