This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
