In America we eat man semen.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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