I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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