I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
