RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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