No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
