Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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