he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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