i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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