There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
