That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
