id be glad to
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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