Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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